Day 10: Something I'm Afraid Of

Oh, so many things. But here's one that I'm sure all wives would relate to.

PWL was in grad school and we had only a toddling Ray and a baby Mae. We lived in the upstairs of a duplex, but we had separate entrances and never really had anyone ring our doorbell except for people we knew. One night he was gone really late studying and the girls were both sleeping when the doorbell rang. Our door was set up so that you couldn't really see who was there until you looked through the peep hole, but since he was gone late and the door was locked, I just assumed it was him and went down to answer it. When I opened the door, a police officer was standing there. So many thoughts went through my head at that moment, but the main thought was that my husband had been killed in a car accident and the police were coming to inform me of that. Ok, I know it sounds dramatic, but that's what I thought. Before she even said what she was doing there I started crying, and when she told me she needed to talk to the person who lived below me, I think I hugged her, or at least wanted to, I was so relieved. I explained that he had a separate entrance, showed her where to go, and she went on her way. Thankfully she didn't stay to investigate the motivation for my emotion, but I think I said something like "I thought you were here to tell me my husband was dead." Pretty sure she thought I was crazy, but she left it alone, so that was good. I have thought of this incident many times since then, especially since we moved to this small town and PWL is commuting every day, often during terrible snow storms, and almost always in the dark. He almost always calls me on his drive home at some point, and even though sometimes I find it annoying, I am always grateful to hear from him and know that he is almost home and will soon be safe. So I guess the thing that I am afraid of is that one day he won't come home. Super depressing, I know, but it's a real fear.

Here's a picture of PWL and the girls before Tony P. was even a thought for either of us. They were doing a hike in Waterton at the time -great memories for me.